Oct 16 - My Boyfriend Doesn't Shower!

Two days ago I made an appointment with my thesis mentor and he approved my new A-journal!

I haven't exactly been keen on updating people about my progress (not that a lot asked, since most always think to this day that I'm somewhat problem-proof), but one thing that I always come clean is that I've always, always been terrified of this professor cause he's so smart so he will always know the area I'm lacking on, which kind of demotivates me in coming in to see him.
Therefore, getting that super positive reaction from him just made my day!
And I've been more pumped than ever to get all of this done and just overwith.

This is not a blog about me only, hehe, I know, so I'll now just switch the topic to another thing that's been happening within the last two days besides my thesis stuff: long FaceTime sessions with Luis!
For some reason, he also has been incredibly happy lately (not just for the last two days, and with me, you know I'm almost 24/7 happy, duh), and happiness for both parties is just the key to a successful FaceTime, am I right? ;)

I screenshot the two sessions and, see it for yourself, he almost looked identical, hahaha.

Left is on LINE and right is on FaceTime.
You can see that the quality of the video call is much better on FaceTime than LINE, but my house wifi during rainy season is not exactly the best, so whenever it goes bad to the point that I can't even use FaceTime, we do LINE.

Besides the hair, you couldn't really tell if it was taken on different days.

It's been a really chilly autumn in the Netherlands that a jacket or a hoodie or a thick sweater has become a staple apparel on his body.

The pics were taken on two consecutive days, so even without him telling me, I knew he just put on yesterday's hoodie.

Also, the hair went from being done to undone (not the other way around which would have made me question the truth in his words), so he must have showered.

But, you know me, I will never pass on even a tiniest, slightest chance to tease him. :P

Bonus: A part of his overnight texts that, despite his signature charmer and player move (hihihihi), gives me serious chill from the sweetness of it.

I don't think he even realized how meaningful this simple message is to me

Shout out to everyone who is also surviving a relationship through video calls and texts! <3

Oct 13 - Doctor Lu and A Dose of FaceTime

Weekend was packed and today I left early in the morning to accompany Grandparents to their doctor's appointments at a hospital downtown; bottom line, I barely had time to sit down and write.

Plus, starting from this week, I'll be writing my thesis so I doubt if I'll ever write as much as I'd like to.

I knew it was very ambitious of me to set a goal to finish the flashback by next week but we shall see, maybe I'll have some spare time over the next weekend to catch up on writing.

As per today, I've spent most of the time just being sick.

It's my period day two and since yesterday my tummy has been acting out, but that's not the worst.

Not only does it make me cringe from the pain and nauseous feeling, my head has also been spinning practically since I woke up.

At first I thought it was because I got off bed in a rush and fled to take a shower, but during the day the weird state just didn't go anywhere, in fact I still have it now, so annoying.

To make it worse, my mom gave me a wrong address of the location of the room my grandparents were being treated (she wasn't there so blame my grandparents' maid). 

I literally went around that hospital for more than 30 minutes, it's ridiculous.

When I finally found them, Grandma was given a looong set of tests by her neurologist and it drained me just by being there to go through all the process.

I realized I was (am) being a complaining bitch but when I have my period, I have my period; don't judge.

We took a taxi to Grandparents' house and I had to wait for my cousin's driver to bring me home, and been resting ever since.

I tried taking a nap and ate a burger that's used to be my go-to meal, but even those didn't help with the tummy pain and/or the dizziness, and that's when I started to break down.

I was just frustrated of not being able to do anything, especially reading my journal for thesis and the thought of postponing it again and again just upset me.

In my moment of weakness, I texted him with a brief explanation on how awful I was feeling and we did a little FaceTime.

I wish I could say it helped reducing the pains immensely, hehehe.

It didn't, but I felt much, much, much better at least mentally.

He always knows how to make me smile and laugh and just de-stress, and that's among the things I admire about him (plus he makes the cutest selfies).

Here's hoping that tomorrow will be a lot better than today.
If not, I'll just call Doctor Lu to ask for another dose of FaceTime!

Flashback: Aug 7 - My "LDR Couple First Meeting" Moment

So you've read a hundred different stories on "LDR Couple First Meeting" told by him/her who met his/her online girlfriend/boyfriend.

So you've seen lots and lots of YouTube videos on "LDR Couple First Meeting" shot in an airport where he/she picks up that online girlfriend/boyfriend.

But you will never know how it really feels like until it's your own LDR Couple First Meeting moment.

It started off so, very unusual for me.

My friends and families (also his best friend and his families) (who were almost as excited as I was to see him) kept on texting me to check on me from one day prior to his arrival.

When I told them the truth that I was super calm and definitely not nervous, they were shocked, and to be honest it shocked me too seeing how cool I had been.

Until it was half an hour before his ETA, when all of a sudden, I felt blood rushing to my head.

I became really anxious thinking of things I should have thought way before, such as how I should look when he came out of that gate, what I should say for the first time, what kind of hug I should give him, where I would like for him to kiss me for the first time, and if he would be disappointed in my physiques (not that I lied about it, but what if I was too photogenic or something, right).

I was so grateful my best friend Ega was there with me at the airport, otherwise I might not be able to get myself together and try my best to look normal.

After the PA speakers informed that his plane had landed, I tried my best to pose as normal as I could despite of my churning stomach and crazy-beating heart.

Ega and I decided to split up because I totally forgot to tell him that there were two exits and no one could have been sure which exit he would take.

So then I waited.

And waited for some more.

And waited for really long time.

And waited for till it was almost two hours after his plane landed.

I started developing crazy ideas on what things might have happened to him, cursing myself for not making him write my number just in case he needed to make an emergency call with someone from the airport's phone.

I started pacing the waiting area, not giving a single care on what people thought of me.

I started feeling really scared if all of this was too good to be true like what everyone said.

Then I felt two hands covering my eyes and I turned around in panic.

It was him.

And he was perfect.

He hugged me and kissed my temple the way I knew he would.

Ever so gently.

There were all the butterflies in the world, all packed up in my stomach, flying in a riot, not a unison.

There and then, I felt it, it is really true love what I have been having for him for the past 11 months.

Just as I was digesting the reality and fighting with myself if this perfect guy in front of me really was my boyfriend, he opened his mouth and said, "Are you wearing colored contacts??" 

HAHAHA, yes, he definitely was.

Credits: Zuleika Rega. My man and I, and the butterfly doll we always talked about.

We walked to Ega's car with my hand hugging his arm, his other hand was dragging his suitcase and my other hand carrying our butterfly doll.

I remember myself feeling so happy to finally see him in person.

I remember myself feeling so happy to finally touch him and feel him in reality.

I remember myself feeling so happy to finally walk beside him on a same soil without the distance.

I remember myself feeling so happy to finally.... feel normal.

Yes, I was the happiest girl on the planet that time.

Little did I know, I was about to hold the title for the next four weeks.

Our first selfie, taken in his room after Ega and I finished helping him with the paperwork for the apartment

Oct 10 - Happy Second 10/10 10:10!

If there is something that makes me a weird person, it is my obsession with numerology.

I chose that term since "obsession with numbers" would make me seem like a Math geek, which I obviously am not.

With that being said, kindly excuse my excitement about sets of numbers I consider unique, such as, today.

I love making a big deal out of dates, time, even my table number when I'm dining out in a restaurant; it's just me.

For you who happened to be completely oblivious of what today is, it's October 10, the tenth day of the tenth month in a year.

So what?

Told you, it's just me.

Last year, on October 10, I woke up excited to celebrate 10/10 10:10 with him, Dutch time of course.

Till around his 9am, I still had been reminding myself to check my phone at exactly 10 so we could text at my targeted minute (I was doing groceries with my parents around that time).

Of course, I completely forgot about that, texting him around 15 minutes after 10:10 saying how disappointed I was that we didn't spend that moment together.

Chuckling, he told me not to mind, cause there would be more 10/10 10:10 we'd experience to come.

Now that I think about it, we had only been dating for not even two months that time, such a cocky thing for him to say that, haha!

But on the other hand, it is so endearing to know he has always been confident about us even before we realized we love each other.

Anyway!

Not wanting to repeat the same 'mistake', I went over to my favorite website to grab a set of printables and created this:

Front page.

Back page

Basically the printable comes in two A4 pages that we can cut out, rearrange as we wish, and write things to make it personal, so I just did that and then glued them to a piece of cardstock.

He loved it so much!

Oct 10 - Cultural Differences

One thing about being in an interracial relationship is the cultural difference that comes within the package. 

If you think it is limited to only pre-marital sex and usage of alcohol, you're dead wrong. 

There is so much more to fight about than you could probably think of.

Here's the thing: we've hardly fought anymore since he's back in The Netherlands, I'm not sure why (not that we fought a lot before, but still, I can only recall two little explosions in the last month).

But just because we don't fight over the differenceS, doesn't mean I'm entirely happy seeing him needing to make so many adjustments just for being with me, you know?

Without saying, I know how he suffers to control his feelings and disappointments over many things (pre-marital sex and usage of alcohol have already been out of the picture since the very beginning cause we have found ways to stir the so-called 'biological needs' and he doesn't drink).

One of those things is the parental control which is closely related to the norms applied in our respective backgrounds.

He is used to having his own independence on where to go, what to do, and with whom he does all that; where it definitely is not the case with me.

My parents, like most Indonesian families, especially Bataknese ones, are very controlling.

And by controlling, I mean I literally have to tell them where I'd go, what I'd do, and with whom I'd do all of that.

They do not make me feel like a prisoner, of course, I know they do all that cause they love me so very dearly, and they only want the best for me.

Sadly, they do not realize their definition of 'best' is not very similar to my own.

If not very different.

Growing up, I've always been this open-minded person with such high tolerance towards people for what they are and what they do.

This doesn't necessarily make me one of them, but I no longer judge them the way most of the people I'm from do.

Adding that I'm a very positive person, it is safe to say I can almost always see good things in people, and to be honest those are where my focus lies on.
I'm flexible, but careful.
I may want things my parents don't or don't want things they do, but I have a set of ground rules that I believe is actually the base of what their rules are.
As free as my soul is, I still follow those rules and will never cross the line.

They, unfortunately, have yet to understand me that way.
In their eyes, everyday I become more and more leaning towards the 'wrong' side; off the rail.
Especially since I've been with him.
They absent-mindedly state it was him who changed me, when in reality this is the first time for me to be completely myself.
Being with Luis has let me reconfirm what my preferences are, not reshape them.

The reason why I'm writing this is because yesterday morning I had an argument with my mom, who has made up her mind to never let me go anywhere outside Jakarta with Luis on his upcoming visit, be it with friends or even with my siblings.
I just don't see why she has to care that much about what people think about me, about us.
I know she knows I will never do anything to harm myself (especially in 'that' department), so why should what people think matter to her?
This thing would never have happened, had the roles been reversed.

Since I don't keep things from Luis, I told him everything when he woke up.
He was upset, for sure, but the way he regained calmness and even proceeded to cheer me up always took me by surprise.
He always knows how to make me smile and sit back to relax and start working on whatever problems I'm or we're having.

He... gets me.

Maybe, yes, it started by me wanting to give me my all honesty that I just told him everything in the first place.
But soon enough, it became not just an obligation, but something I really love doing, cause when I talk to him about the problems, he really helps me overcoming it.
Why?
Because we think pretty much the same way.

Sorry for the long post, I just needed to share this realization of me being culturally different than my parents which, on occasions like this, really frustrates me.
But now that I've let everything out, I feel WAAAY better, and it's a nice thing to get the writing fuel pumping.

On to the fun stuffs!

PS: I decided to insert one picture in each post, so here it is, a holiday-themed picture that I wish were taken really in Bali, instead of just a Balinese statue in Jakarta.

Credits: Zuleika Rega. Color enhancement with SnapSeed.

Oct 8 - Radical Change

NEW LOOK!

Have you ever waken up one day thinking, "Man, I really miss writing on my blog. It's been ages!"

Well I did, this morning; hence the drastic change in the appearance of the blog to help boost the mood to start over.

So much has happened, but Luis and I are better than ever, despite back to being more than 11k km's apart.

Expect a serious set of posts!

Topics: experiencing the best summer ever, adjusting back to (very, very) long distance relationship, and planning what to do next.

Also, I have been contemplating on making necessary changes to go along with the updated look.
For the next posts, I'm thinking of inserting at least one picture in every post, be it our (his or my) pictures, or just a random picture related to the post itself.
And maybe I should add a picture box somewhere on the corner and create a slideshow since now we have pictures together?
I'm still not sure, a lot to decide for sure.

Until then, xoxo!