Sep 20 - No News is Good News

Last time I wrote was exactly 1.5 years ago. Obviously consistency isn't my strong suit.

The previous year was unbelievably amazing, almost too good to be true if I may say so myself, especially in forming the unison between my personal and professional lives.

- May 1, 2021, I arrived in the Netherlands as a resident, not a tourist.

- June 20, 2021, was my first working day at Ultimaker, a global 3D printer manufacturer.

- July 1, 2021, Luis and I moved to the prettiest bungalow (1-floor house / no-neighbor apartment).

- July 20, 2021, colleagues at Korn Ferry EMEA reached out to ask me to rejoin the team, based in NL.

- August 24, 2021, was our 8th year anniversary. To think that this blog has existed since August 2013!!

- September 2021, we did a big BeNeLux + Germany road trip visiting places and friends and families.

- November 1, 2021, I rejoined Korn Ferry, where I've been for almost a year now.

This year we're getting even more organized in terms of stuff to do around the house, plannings and types of houses we should go after. On the latter, we have placed offers on 4 different houses, all of our 'overbiddings' were too low, but that's a story for another day. 

Luis hangs out with my parents on video call every 2 days if not daily. I have over 140 dinner ideas, mostly yummy things we could make from scratch. We reserve Saturday early mornings to run errands and Sunday evenings to cuddle on the sofa watching each other's favorite movies.

Life is tough and everyone fights their own battles, but when God blesses, He goes ham.

Mar 21 - The Illusion of Being Apart

I woke up yesterday to his text requesting a full, detailed recipe of how I made the Hainanese chicken rice his family really loved. Before I went to sleep yesterday, he video-called me to ask which buttons to press on the washing machine and tumble dryer.

This guy surprises me in ways I had never seen anybody do before. He cracks me up with jokes so original people wouldn't realize they were meant as such. Or maybe it's because we think the same, and the times we don't, we still get each other.

He reminds me, without so many words, that distanced or skin-to-skin, phone calls or whispers, sharing a kitchen or doing laundry alone, a lot of me is him and a lot of him is me. Except he wouldn't in a million years keep a digital diary this obnoxious. :)

Mar 21 - Secret to LDR

Shared interests. And a shit ton of patience and commitment. And honesty. And luck. And a pocket full of money for those damn airline tickets and lavish holidays.

But shared interests.

The entire time I was in the Netherlands, Luis was on a Shopee Candy fever. I'm now addicted to OSM. He titled the screenshot: "Ichi the Housewife won the triple!"

Yeah, shared interests.

Mar 02 - The Married Life

 A friend and ex-colleague, Arky, asked me yesterday over chat, "How's the marriage life going?"

What a great question. With Luis being in the Netherlands and myself being in Indonesia, essentially performing a rather frowned upon Long Distance Marriage, the simple question forced myself to rake the most honest answer I could muster for the time being. My initial response was to write, "What marriage life? We aren't even together." 

But the sassiness didn't sit right as I discovered it to be an inaccurate depiction of the way I feel. Granted it's not ideal to be geographically separated from your significant other, it isn't cultivating distinctively more stress and/or odd feelings than the Long Distance Relationship we had mastered and been so familiar with 7.5 years prior to tying the knot.

That's when I realized marriage is technically a form of relationship. So nothing new, really, just him and me relying on videocalls and instant messages to keep each other updated with our tremendously different lifestyles. We're back to what we know very well, just now with extra bands on our ring fingers.

"It's amazing," so I replied.

Feb 20 - Long Story Short

I flew to the Netherlands to get married with basically zero preparation, so God had to do all the work. :) And what He did was nothing I could have ever come up with.

In total, I stayed for 2.5 months there and it was probably the best 2.5 months in my life. I witnessed first-hand how when you surrender, what needs to happen will happen.

Feb 19 - #VinaLLy Married

 

 

Westerhoven | January 19, 2021 | 4:00 PM

Feb 19 - #VinaLLy United

Valkenswaard | January 19, 2021 | 2:00 PM

Feb 19 - #VinaLLy Mevrouw Lutgens

 

Venlo | January 19, 2021 | 9:00 AM

Nov 11 - Nothing is What It Seems

Today was my first day of period, so naturally I was short on abilities to decide whether I got super annoyed because he was not being sensitive... or because I was being oversensitive. Fine, probably the latter, but still, my 1831-IQ-brain decided to put together an act and behave batshit crazy (-er than my usual fiery self). After I calmed down, he called me and scolded, "You wanna know why it's so difficult for me to say sorry??" // "Why?" Of course I was already laughing by now. // "Karena aku the real Batak."

All those oceans I have to cross and fly over and all I got is a clone of myself.

Oct 14 - Marilyn Knows What's Up

 

There have been multiple instances where my mom rushed to check on me because she thought I was very upset. I was crying, but from hysterical laughter. No one cracks me up the way he does.

Oct 14 - Language Learning Essential / My Sexual Orientation

Aaaaand I'm back at not writing for a hot minute. :D

Eight weeks into my Intermediate 2 level of Dutch class by Erasmus Training Centre, I'm reminded of the different topics covered to date, spanning across Basic 1 - 3 and Intermediate 2 (yup, that's 5 classes in total so far). We've discussed, among others, the weather, travel, etiquettes, going out culture, health, entertainment, sports, journalism and media, and recently, politics. And for every single theme, Luis is there for me to consult, making it super easy for me to grasp the entire concept. You think I'm merely referring to the grammar part; I'm not. It never ceases to amaze me how knowledgeable he is about them all. I mean you ask me about the coalition's interests in Indonesia and I'll have you Wikipedia it on your phone. Or call my dad, one of the two. This guy's degrees are in Dietetics and Health Promotion! How the heck is he so goddamn fluent (and accurate) in matters revolving political intricacies??

My sapiosexual self can't be prouder for having responded to a random dude's message on OkCupid back in 2013. A dude so random I didn't even take a look at his photos prior to replying*. Easily the best decision I made that year -- and every year onwards!

*) Thank God he turned out to be hot AF.

Aug 22 - Not Yet a Mrs.

So it's here. Today's the day.

With so many friends and families checking in within the past few days, I had expected one helluva heavy day. Pleasantly surprised to see that it wasn't. All props to Amanguda Hari's family and my girls (and guys!) who made sure I knew it had nothing to do with our relationship.

We're postponing the wedding for crying out loud. NOT cancelling.

I legit look like a creep. This is a screenshot from a video we took where Luis, as always, refused to look into the camera and would pretend he didn't notice me at all when in reality his fingers were tickling me! Who's the creep now!?

Aug 10 - What Now

As a dietitian with not only first-time clients but also return ones, Luis plans work schedules and visits at least two weeks in advance. We wanted to wait until the end of July to decide what to do with the wedding, so, just to be on the safe side, he cleared out his schedule for at least the first two weeks of August. If it would still go through, he could elongate it to four months; if not, he could just use some time off anyway. So today is his first day of a two-week blocked annual leave.

Can't help but think it's just the way it'll be for God knows however many more months down the road. Winging it. Deciding as we go. On my side, I had had it all figured out:

1. Get married in August 2020

2. Resign from work and start paperwork in October 2020

3. Move to the Netherlands in December 2020

4. Start a new job in March 2021

5. Have my parents come over in May 2021

6. Make a trip back home in July 2022

Let's look at the progress:

1. Oh right we don't even know when we're getting married!

Having to wait with a timeline is one thing. Having to wait with a deadline is another thing. So what now? Well.. We keep waiting. :D

Aug 05 - Footsteps

Some of my favorite pictures/trips during my 1.5 years' blog hiatus:

Jakarta, Indonesia

Dusseldorf, Germany

Budapest, Hungary

Calpe, Spain

Amsterdam, Netherlands

Aug 04 - Security

There's no denying that this man has so many exceptional qualities. Among them is confidence. Not the cocky personality to think he's above everyone else, or I should be the lucky one in the relationship (spoiler alert: I am). But the security and contentment with our relationship and, in turn, honesty practiced and trust instilled.

Pretty early on in the relationship, he wasn't very happy with how close I was (am) with Araz. He, so as I, is never one to think two people from opposite sex couldn't be fully platonic, but it caught him off guard seeing how 'friendly' I was with a guy I claimed to be 'just a friend'. Immediately I told him if he were about to make me choose between him and Araz, I'd choose Araz. Big time. Luckily it didn't take long for him to finally understand just how important my relationship was with Araz, but it occupied a different section of my heart. What also helped was when he finally met Araz (after the both of them managed to avoid each other the entire month Luis was here the first time around), when he saw the two of them instantly clicked... and were about to embark on this alarming bromance situation.

Anyway. Araz, although indeed the closest, is just an example. I have many more guy friends and Luis is fully accepting of that. He trusts I'm being honest with him that they're not a threat to what we have. That kind of confidence is hella sexy in my eyes. The more he trusts me, the more willing I am to be open with him, and I can't tell you just how comfortable this reciprocity is!

Earlier tonight he came home and texted me on Telegram. I didn't have time to check cause I was on the phone with Bang Aroon, so after a few minutes he video-called my iPhone. Again, I didn't answer, so he video-called my Samsung. I picked up, showed him I had been on the phone with Bang Aroon for the past 1.5 hours, and told him I would call him back. He just said okay, showed me a Magnum ice cream he was enjoying, and told me silly things that didn't make a lot of sense while he hung up. That's so precious to me.

I swear there's just something with a guy who seemingly has no insecurities. I'm sure he has one, or a maybe a couple, but I'm SO glad it's not in this department.

Aug 03 - Until Further Notice

Luis is still denied access to Indonesia so prior to my Bandung staycation we decided to delay all arrangements. He spoke to my parents and that's how it was finalized. We've informed family, close friends, and vendors. Not the best outcome ever but surprisingly it was relatively painless and somehow.. liberating. Finally we can put our minds at rest, at least for a couple of months.

There are various scenarios depending on the near-future development, but if there's anything I learned the past 4 months, it's to play it by ear and not fuss so much in making plans. Things will work out the way it's supposed to. Failed execution changes nothing about our relationship and delaying the marriage just means.. longer deadline to lose weight. *slams door and giggles*

Aug 01 - Check Point

So August is here!

Luis and I have zero visibility on what's ahead.

Whatever happens, August will always be our month.

Seven years and counting!

<3

Jul 23 - Those Who Believe

You know how your embarrassing/heartbreaking memories stay longer and are more prominent in your brain compared to the beautiful ones? I'll spare you some BS and instead encourage you to research the scientific explanations behind it. Happens to me and this blog too TBH, I feel lately I don't give enough shout out to those who have always supported, especially during the rough patches in our LDR span across 7 years. And/or now.

I am reminded today to thank God for those people. With the (initial) wedding day practically around the corner, every single day there's always at least two people dropping by virtually through phone calls, texts, and Instagram messages asking how we are doing. At first it felt like something I would have done too if I were on the other side. But there are just so many people. And ones who have done it one day keep coming back every so often. It's just extremely difficult to not think I'm up there with some of the luckiest girl on earth, for having so many God-sent people to take care of me in my time of needs.

Yesterday to today was a big one. In less than 24 hours, I had Uty, Zuzu, Eric, Jamal, Fajar, and Samantha reaching out via various methods. And it's not the "I'm great, oh by the way how's the wedding thing coming along?" kind of message, but the "Hey Vic, how are you? I'm here if you need anything!" kind of message. I didn't ask for attention, they just.. popped up unexpectedly. In the most heartwarming manner possible. In the way it makes me feel I had been a wonderful friend to them. I haven't.

The following didn't necessarily initiate conversation yesterday, but it would be a surprise if I did not hear from them in two weeks asking for updates: Allie, Araz, Nantulang Ipi, Galih, Kiti, Kak Des, Venessa, Ecel, Mbachi, Fifi, Stephanie, Bros gang, Tia Cruz, Kakak, Galuh, Naila, Natasja, and Mbak Bimbi. Not that ones who ask once or twice are not important (for example, Pak Syl's monthly check in; wow, talk about quality over quantity here), but I'm listing those special, above-mentioned names down so I do not forget. So the next time the tide turns -- NOT that I would ever wish for them to be unlucky or anything -- I know to place their names on top of my priority.

I don't give up because of them.

Jul 22 - It's What He Doesn't Do

Every single person in my circle knows I don't mind being called names, dealing with back-stabbing snakes, having to wait for a chronically late person, sleeping next to loud snorers, receiving non-constructive criticism, not getting the credits I deserve, hearing people talk shit and gossip about me; all the ultra common pet peeves there are. Those things do annoy me, but it takes a millisecond or two (fine, sometimes a day) for me to shrug it off and be over it.

Honesty, however, is the biggest thing for me. Although I'm not the smartest kid on the block, I know a thing or two more than that kid about spotting liars. Lying in my dictionary means two things: you underestimate my intelligence (that I would not be able to see right through you) and you're a coward who chooses to not tell the truth which may result in a confrontation. 

It might be biased, knowing I'm one who (more often than not) would risk relationships for the sake of letting the truth roam free. But I won't apologize as it's just my personality (and I think it's called 'personality' for a reason: it's a way to define that person). I'm a big girl, I can handle ugly truths and forgive your actions; however, if I spot you're lying to me, that's the end of it. I keep quiet but make a mental note that you're no longer one who deserves to benefit from me in any way, shape, or form.

Maybe that's one big fat reason why I've never wanted to call it quits with this guy. Look, I'm not gonna sit here and pretend like he's all that perfect, because he's not. But at least he doesn't lie to me, despite having all the reasons to, and the opportunity. Through it all, he chooses to come clean with things and have raw conversations with me, even at the expense of the follow up chore of buttering up this broken-hearted/completely-livid girl who always feels the need to say a piece of her mind. He's confident my state of mind wouldn't stay negative for all that long, cause he knows at the end of the day I'll come to my senses and remember that he remembers. 

That this is the way he cares. The way he appreciates me. The way he puts me first.

PS: Post not triggered by him. Some people lied to me today.

PPS: Of course I caught them. By default, I keep quiet but make a mental note that they're no longer ones who de-- oh, please, just scroll up already. :)

Jul 20 - #Priority

As briefly mentioned, Luis was here in Indonesia last March. For 4 x 24 hours.

Friday, Mar 13

He landed late in the day. I picked him up after work, carrying a small suitcase full of his prezzies. Will never know how he manages to smell (and look) so damn good.

Saturday, Mar 14

I hoped the morning he took to rest was enough cause we were about to start a jam-packed day! Gyu-Kaku lunch, La'Seine venue survey (which was his first and last time seeing *rolls eyes*), and crash course on Aku Percaya prayer with Bapa an hour before the baptism rehearsal with Inang Rita. My gut was completely wrenched in anticipation of the mandatory pre-baptism oral exam.... that turned out to not be mandatory as Luis was ushered by Inang Rita directly to the altar! All the reading material we had digested to prepare for this and apparently no questions asked! :D She's great. Closing the day with a dinner with Mama's side of the family.

Sunday, Mar 15 - Still obsessed with everything that happened today

Nothing better than cheap breakfast by the pool. Our kind of morning.

Today was going to be super intense! For starters, lunch and ice cream with Bapa's side of the family (please don't act like I didn't write 'super intense' in the previous sentence). This bunch (read: my people, in other words, multiple forms of me) is a lot to deal with, but Luis handled himself incredibly well, including and especially during his very first ever impromptu mandokhata. At least my family was meeting him in the middle by choosing Sate Khas Senayan and Pisa Cafe as the places.

Nobody had prepared me for this view.

His Aku Percaya was flawless and we welcomed SO MANY of these questions at the exit, "How long has he lived here?" "With whom has he been practicing the prayer?" "How long did the language course take?" and so forth. Bapa and I would just be exchanging dirty looks, not having the heart to tell them his first time mouthing the prayer out loud was exactly 24 hours ago. God is good! Worth noting as well that it was the first time HKBP Menteng has ever seen Inang Rita speak English.

We celebrated his baptism that night during the warmest dinner at Amanguda Hari's house. Today just could not be any better by any stretch of imagination.

Monday, Mar 16

Morning was spent at the tailor, choosing material, color, and model for his suits. From there, we met up with Mama's work friends while picking her up and were on our way with Abang too to the food tasting. Umara is definitely not the cheapest but they're just so, so good! Luis and I were so full that we had to pass on Al Jazeerah's famous kebuli set while on double date with Araz and Nadhy. Could never say no to late night Martabak Favourite though. 

Tuesday, Mar 17

And just like that, this was his last day in Jakarta. We looked for a cute little souvenir for his The Navigators spiritual father back home, enjoyed two large pans of pizza, ran some errands, and looked for wedding rings before starting with packing.

Those long hours on an airplanes (times two) only for (what feels like) a blink of an eye. Sometimes you make questionable decisions all for the sake of, uh, priorities.