May 05 - Screw You, BuzzFeed

Woke up to this:

Those heartbreaking goodbye hugs before one of them has to leave the other. --> I started tearing up pretty much right away. Such a pussy.

The part where the girl's best friend is in the middle of telling an important story but the guy's text comes in so she has to reply to it as soon as possible.

The part where the guy stays in his bedroom, away from his friends, because he's on the phone with her (and probably mouthing "Ik kom zo").

Writing each other letters, looking away from affectionate couples, being temporary healed by inhaling each other's scent, fighting to stay calm when the connection cuts out, and resolving every argument much earlier just because not speaking to each other drives us even more nuts.

In another video, the girl said, "The hardest part is feeling that nobody else thinks that what you're doing is sustainable."

I can't. So damn relatable. :( Leave it to BuzzFeed to break my heart.

May 03 - Doubt-Killing Method

After binge-watching The Bachelorette, I feel my insecurities reawakened. It's really not that I don't trust Lu or something related to him, it's just about love and relationship in general. Full explanation here.

On the phone call just now, following my repetitive, boring-as-hell rant:

V: You're going to tell me the second you're unsure about us, right? *giggles knowing he's so tired of having to answer the same thing over and over again*

L: Of course, you can just wait till forever.

I bursted laughing, told him I need to hang up, and headed on over to this blog. The spontaneity of his reply wins me over. It's witty, effortless, natural, and, on top of everything, it potrays his utmost sincerity. I'm serious, the guy can do no wrong. *swoons*

May 01 - The Trampoline

He's traveling to London, Ibiza, Valencia, and Calpe till next week, that and the fact that my startup is on the floating side buy me so much time to write, hence the long overdue completed Summer 2015 tales / daily journals; finally. 

I knew the last two days would mess me up inside, but actually shedding a tear was beyond expectation. It will continue to hurt while we are away, with some days being even more painful than the others, and in some it takes next to every effort to remind each other that we are only communicating via FaceTime.

The first half of today was the better one. This half? A living nightmare.

Feb 18 - Le Follow Up

I can't! (Insert a dying icon here.)

Feb 09 - Being Visionary

V: *feels rather unwell, cuts GRE practice short* Maaf ya, Sayang, tomorrow aku enggak going anywhere kok.

L: Apa, Sayang?

V: Hahaha, maaf, that was an Indonesian word, 'kok'.

L: Kok. *basically pronounces 'cock'*

V: Kok.

L: Kok. *is still at 'cock'*

V: Okay, never mind. *chuckles*

L: But what does it mean?

V: Ummmmmmm.. "Tomorrow aku enggak going anywhere kok." The kok there means "don't worry".

L: So it means "don't worry".

V: Uh huh. But if you put it before your sentence, like, "Kok kamu remember Fook Yew?!" It means "How come kamu remember Fook Yew?!" Kok means a lot of different things!

L: Baby, please, every Indonesian word has multiple meanings.

V: Hahahahaha!

L: Even when you double the word, it's a whole different thing!
V: Oh my goodness, about earlier! 'Mas' means big bro like you know kan. But if you add an 'e' in front of the word--

L: E-mas? *pronounces e as in resume*

V: Emas. *pronounces e as in under*

L: Emas. *gets it right this time*

V: Yup, it means gold.

L: Gold?

V: Uh huh. Funny ya!

L: Heyyyy, cannot ya! When calling for the waiter in a restaurant kamu say, "Ummmmm...... Mas?" Everybody will think there's gold!

V: *dies*

Sep 17 - It Never Gets Easier

Nothing much to say about this last day...

other than I cried most of the day.

Sep 16 - Heartbreak Drawing Near

I dreaded writing this post and the next one for so long. Not because something bad happened, nor is happening at the moment between us. It's just that.. thinking about these days rips me to pieces every single time. Every time I picked myself up and started typing, my heart was broken all over again. Exactly how it is now. But this needs to be done, so here we go.

Today was the last full day we were together since tomorrow he would fly out to the Netherlands and only God knows when we would see each other again.

Oh my goodness. See? I suck at trying to feel better.

Okay let's start over.

Today was Luis' last full day in Jakarta. The options were endless as of what to do for the day, but realizing we were running out of time, shopping for his family and friends it is. The list included stocking up on Tolak Angin and other Indonesian things for him to bring back to NL, a few items for his friend Jeremy who's a quarter Indonesian, a couple of Victoria's Secret perfumes for his sister whose birthday he missed since he was here, a blanket for his niece (yes, we were carrying blanket all around that day hehe), and a t-shirt for his nephew. This is what we got half-way.

Thank God for Kelapa Gading Mall, eh?

I forgot to take the final photo with all of the goodies. Oh well. Good thing we still got time to have lunch at his favorite non-MSG restaurant and took cute photobooth pictures..... which required us to first go to an ATM cause he was going a little ham on the shopping spree, haha. Amazes me every time I see him putting his every effort in gifting people and not sparing nearly half of the energy for his own needs. Smart, sexy, selfless. I must have done something good, in the words of Maria von Trapp.

Anyway, it was very convenient that the mall we went to was very close to my baby cousins' house. They love Luis, so we really wanted to pay them a visit. And they were such sweethearts as always!

My Laura

These girls are seriously the cutest!

We were basically rushing at this part; his plane was at 5.30 the next day so all packing needed to be done by tonight. Lucky he has the best packer in the world! This is how snug everything was. Bear in mind the blanket and his suit et cetera had not been inserted.

Gift-exchange at my place took the final hours before we had to part to try to catch some sleep for an hour of two. The long note consisted of his 25th birthday present I had been keeping for more than half a year, a photobook of our summer together last year, and my thesis in which he could find his name.

I meant each and every word

Adding my gifts into the already super full suitcase wasn't really a big deal. This, on the other hand, was.

Remember this post? About a week ago we tried to find a bakery that apparently was closed due to a major renovation. Knowing we went through all the troubles only because Luis really loved the cookies and wanted to bring some for his families, Mama's friend contacted her sister to ask her to bake A SPECIAL BATCH just for Luis. Earlier today, her driver dropped these TWELVE boxes of SIX different types of cookies as she texted Mama begging to just take them without worrying about the bills. I can't. She can murder someone and will still go to heaven I'm sure, that's how kind she is to us. May God bless Tante Tria and her family. <3

As per Mama's suggestion, he only took 6 out of 12 since his stopover in Dubai would be quite lengthy, making carrying 12 boxes of fragile cookies even harder than 6. She gave him a bag to store them and there he was, kissing me good night for the last time in 2015.