Jan 11 - Very Limited Capacity

His flight was on time and per my calculation, he was supposed to be home by midnight. It was 1.30 and I had yet to hear anything from him. Anything could've happened, so when his text finally came thru, I was beyond relief. Makes me wonder, if my mind is this occupied only for worrying about the main man, how can I handle additional individuals! All the more reason to not rush on having kids is what I'm saying. :P

Jan 10 - Boy Next Door.... Who Is Not

He's friendly, sweet, charming, unassuming, sincere, adorable (he'll flip out when he sees I call him this :p). He's that dashing, smart, tall, handsome, polite young man you'll develop a crush on and be dying to get to know and date. He's got Boy Next Door sign plastered all over his forehead..... until I remember he does not live next door.

I wish though. If he did.. He would've been here in Indonesia right now to visit me instead of France.

Okay, fine, France is beautiful, I can't really blame him. Just wish things were easier. Just wish the man were indeed a boy next door.

Dec 20 - Rant Response

V: *rants for 30 minutes straight*
L: *listens intently*
V: *feels a lot more at ease* Call aku in half an hour, Baby, aku bobo by then..
L: Uh huh. Take off contacts and makeup ya.

Dec 04 - It's the Little Things

That get me all teared up.

We were just on FaceTime Video as always. I forgot what triggered me but I asked him to show me his corner, that spot in his room where he keeps all of my stuff. There are dolls, a hand-written mug, a bookmark, lots of Finding Dori keychains, Princess chocolates, metal decorators, and all the other pending prezzies plus keepsakes. The joy filled my heart............. up until I spotted Indonesian rupiah bills tucked in the same drawer. Upon entering the country, tourists using visa on arrival need to pay at the immigration section, either in dollars, euros, or rupiahs. He keeps the few hundreds for the fee on his next visit. I couldn't bottle up my emotions.

That remind me how lucky I am.

After a relaaaaxing at-home massage, I felt like watching a movie. Yesterday I fell in love with one of his favorite numbers, French-hit The Intouchables, so I figured I'd ask for more recommendations. He suggested 12 Years a Slave, something I have been wanting to watch but has been put off for no reason at all it seemed. I googled it up and found out it was about the years prior to the Civil War. Aha, that's gotta be the reason why, for a few years now movies dating back in the past do not excite me. I enjoyed watching Hacksaw Ridge because it's about war and I love war films, but had I known earlier it portrayed the mid-1940s, I wouldn't have gone with friends from work, maybe. After explaining all that to him, his candid response was "Iyaaaa, aku udah know about it! Karena also with The Americans." If I had a penny for every guy who paid attention to everything I did and treated my words as if everything had a meaning to it, I would be getting absolutely nothing. I so nailed it at the dating game; what a catch.

That make me fall in love all over again.

Talking me to sleep is his thing, I adore and look forward to it so much. Some nights it is just a quick 3-minute video call, other nights like tonight it is much, much longer. I would find things to ramble about and he would be goofy and we would be joking around 'arguing' over the most unimportant things ever and we would laugh so hard. Every time he makes me laugh, I fall for him even deeper and all over again. I forget about the distance between us cause everything is natural, effortless, and simply beautiful. Until reality kicks in and I realize just how far apart we are. Fortunately, it's not enough to back me off cause I'm in love. I'm in so much love.

Nov 02 - Late Night Arguments

I started watching The Blacklist almost a month ago and tonight I finished watching S03E18. I'm so obsessed. Blame it on Luis. Yes, cause the man has nothing better to do than getting me addicted to all the TV shows he recommends! Breaking Bad, Arrow, Homeland, and now this. Just as you thought it was a good idea to let your significant other know yourself very well. (Kidding, I'm so lucky, Baby.)

Towards the end of the long phone call just now, we were joking around and, bearing the Most Random Person crown I am wearing 24/7, I asked him, "Can we name our son Tom?" It wasn't that random actually. I was filling him in with everything happening at work and he was comforting me because he's literally the best person to vent to which is old news since he's literally great at everything, but that's beside the point. He was so sweet, so I said, "Do you know whom you reminded me of? Tom Keen."

"Tom Keen!? Why?"

"Yeah, like I'm the girl with the crazy job and long working hours like Lizzie and you're like the perfect guy with a simple life and a simple job who's always there to support her. Exactly like Tom. I just hope when I'm doing something with our house later and I need to rip the wooden floor open, I won't find multiple passports with all your different aliases on them."

"Maybe. Maybe you'll find one that shows my name as 'Batu'."

"Let me guess. Nationality, Papua?"

"No, it will be Indonesian because Papua is in Indonesia. Unless you are from Papua New Guinea, then it would say Papua not Indonesia. But to be honest they're the fake Papua, you know? They're not the real Papua who...." I wish I could contain my laughter to really get what he was saying.

"Can we name our son Tom? Thomas?" This is what I was referring to earlier.

"NO."

"Why not? Thomas is a good name. I'm so in love with Tom's character in the series."

"Thomas is too English."

"Everything's too English for you. You don't want Tom, you don't want Oliver--"

"Oliver is too English. And it's too French too because it's from Olivier."

"OMG! So what name should we go for? We have never agreed on a boy's name!"

"We will see."

"That's what you say each time. I ain't naming our son 'We Will See'."

"Why not? We Will See Lutgens."

The things I'd do to that silly, gorgeous human being who happens to be the love of my life.

Oh and to Tom Keen.