Aug 22 - Not Yet a Mrs.

So it's here. Today's the day.

With so many friends and families checking in within the past few days, I had expected one helluva heavy day. Pleasantly surprised to see that it wasn't. All props to Amanguda Hari's family and my girls (and guys!) who made sure I knew it had nothing to do with our relationship.

We're postponing the wedding for crying out loud. NOT cancelling.

I legit look like a creep. This is a screenshot from a video we took where Luis, as always, refused to look into the camera and would pretend he didn't notice me at all when in reality his fingers were tickling me! Who's the creep now!?

Aug 10 - What Now

As a dietitian with not only first-time clients but also return ones, Luis plans work schedules and visits at least two weeks in advance. We wanted to wait until the end of July to decide what to do with the wedding, so, just to be on the safe side, he cleared out his schedule for at least the first two weeks of August. If it would still go through, he could elongate it to four months; if not, he could just use some time off anyway. So today is his first day of a two-week blocked annual leave.

Can't help but think it's just the way it'll be for God knows however many more months down the road. Winging it. Deciding as we go. On my side, I had had it all figured out:

1. Get married in August 2020

2. Resign from work and start paperwork in October 2020

3. Move to the Netherlands in December 2020

4. Start a new job in March 2021

5. Have my parents come over in May 2021

6. Make a trip back home in July 2022

Let's look at the progress:

1. Oh right we don't even know when we're getting married!

Having to wait with a timeline is one thing. Having to wait with a deadline is another thing. So what now? Well.. We keep waiting. :D

Aug 05 - Footsteps

Some of my favorite pictures/trips during my 1.5 years' blog hiatus:

Jakarta, Indonesia

Dusseldorf, Germany

Budapest, Hungary

Calpe, Spain

Amsterdam, Netherlands

Aug 04 - Security

There's no denying that this man has so many exceptional qualities. Among them is confidence. Not the cocky personality to think he's above everyone else, or I should be the lucky one in the relationship (spoiler alert: I am). But the security and contentment with our relationship and, in turn, honesty practiced and trust instilled.

Pretty early on in the relationship, he wasn't very happy with how close I was (am) with Araz. He, so as I, is never one to think two people from opposite sex couldn't be fully platonic, but it caught him off guard seeing how 'friendly' I was with a guy I claimed to be 'just a friend'. Immediately I told him if he were about to make me choose between him and Araz, I'd choose Araz. Big time. Luckily it didn't take long for him to finally understand just how important my relationship was with Araz, but it occupied a different section of my heart. What also helped was when he finally met Araz (after the both of them managed to avoid each other the entire month Luis was here the first time around), when he saw the two of them instantly clicked... and were about to embark on this alarming bromance situation.

Anyway. Araz, although indeed the closest, is just an example. I have many more guy friends and Luis is fully accepting of that. He trusts I'm being honest with him that they're not a threat to what we have. That kind of confidence is hella sexy in my eyes. The more he trusts me, the more willing I am to be open with him, and I can't tell you just how comfortable this reciprocity is!

Earlier tonight he came home and texted me on Telegram. I didn't have time to check cause I was on the phone with Bang Aroon, so after a few minutes he video-called my iPhone. Again, I didn't answer, so he video-called my Samsung. I picked up, showed him I had been on the phone with Bang Aroon for the past 1.5 hours, and told him I would call him back. He just said okay, showed me a Magnum ice cream he was enjoying, and told me silly things that didn't make a lot of sense while he hung up. That's so precious to me.

I swear there's just something with a guy who seemingly has no insecurities. I'm sure he has one, or a maybe a couple, but I'm SO glad it's not in this department.

Aug 03 - Until Further Notice

Luis is still denied access to Indonesia so prior to my Bandung staycation we decided to delay all arrangements. He spoke to my parents and that's how it was finalized. We've informed family, close friends, and vendors. Not the best outcome ever but surprisingly it was relatively painless and somehow.. liberating. Finally we can put our minds at rest, at least for a couple of months.

There are various scenarios depending on the near-future development, but if there's anything I learned the past 4 months, it's to play it by ear and not fuss so much in making plans. Things will work out the way it's supposed to. Failed execution changes nothing about our relationship and delaying the marriage just means.. longer deadline to lose weight. *slams door and giggles*

Aug 01 - Check Point

So August is here!

Luis and I have zero visibility on what's ahead.

Whatever happens, August will always be our month.

Seven years and counting!

<3